But nevertheless this was laid up in his memory by way of a cure in times to come. And likewise the fact that, when he was still engaged in his studies at Carthage and attended my lectures, and while he wandered the forum at midday (as scholars often do) thinking over the speech he was going to make, you let him be seized as a thief by the watchmen of the forum – My lord, I don’t think you let this happen for any other reason than that a man who was going to attain the degree of power for which he was bound would begin to learn how cautiously, in hearing cases, a man should be condemned by another man with hasty credulity. It happened that he was pacing before the tribunal with a tablet and stylus in his hands, when lo! a certain teenage student – a real thief, this one – entered, without Alypius realizing it and secreting an ax, onto the lead-railed ballustrades that look out over the Vicus Argentarius and started chopping off the lead. When they heard the sound of the ax striking, the silversmiths below raised a clamor and sent people to lay hold of whomever they might find up there. When he heard their voices, the thief ran off, leaving his tools behind, so as to avoid being taken with them in his hands. But Alypius, who had not seen him entering, noticed him leaving and saw how he made himself scarce, and, wanting to know the reason, entered the place himself and found there the ax, which was puzzling over when those who had been sent up found him alone with that instrument by whose sound they had been stirred to action in the first place. They took him, they dragged him off, they boasted before the whole neighborhood as though they had caught the thief red-handed; thence he was led off to be offered up to judgement.
But the lesson was to go thus far only. At once, lord, you sent aid to an innocence whose only witness was you. When he was being led off either to be jailed or to be executed, they ran across a certain master-builder whose greatest concern was the maintenance of public buildings. They rejoiced that they had encountered him, whom they were used to come to when they suspected someone of having made off with some part of the forum buildings, as though he alone were able to judge who had done it. But he had seen Alypius before, in the house of a certain senator to whom he frequently paid court, and as soon as he recognized him he took him by the hand and drew him apart from the mob and asked what the reason was for this great evil. He heard the tale of what had happened and ordered all the people who were there, clamoring and raising noisy threats, to come with him. And they came to the house of the teenager who had done the deed. As it happened, there was a child in front of the door, and he was such a small lad that he could in no way report the whole truth out of fear of his master, for whom he was a lackey in the forum – thus Alypius, once he had worked it out, informed the master-builder. But he showed the boy the ax, asking him whose it was. “Ours,” said the boy straightaway; then, under interrogation, he revealed all the rest. Thus the blame was shifted onto that house and the crowd confuted, which had already begun to crow in triumph over that man who was going to become the steward of your word and the investigator of many cases within your church – a man who left this affair both wiser and more experienced than he had been when he had entered into it.
(This is a passage that really ought to have featured in Auerbach’s wonderful essay on Marcellinus and Apuleius. Like the texts he treats there, this one invests a late Roman urban space with a kind of intense physicality that’s situated or focalized within a particular observing subject – in this case, Augustine’s friend Alypius. The carefully-established contrast between the speed of the action as a whole and the slowness of Alypius’ own thought creates a nice comic effect throughout, as when the aeditumi lay hold of while he “admirans considerabat” the ax that the actual criminal had ditched in his haste to flee. Everyone acts, everyone even thinks much faster than Alypius does; but precisely that slowness of thought, it turns out, will become Alypius’ signal virtue as an examinator causarum later in his career.
Curiosity – pace the widely-held view that sees Augustine condemning it in every form – does have its uses. Just the interest in things that got Alypius into trouble when he turned it toward the circus or gladiatorial shows turns out, in this episode and elsewhere in Augustine, to be what separates good judges from bad ones. Alypius’ false arrest looks like an axial point between these two applications, and valuations, of curiosity. If it really does function this way, that explains why Augustine displaces it from its natural place in the chronology of the Confessions, which would be close to the beginning of book 6, and chooses instead to remind us of this Carthaginian episode after Alypius has already moved to Milan.)